Skeptical City Girl Goes Green!

My Grandmother looms large in my memory. She was a hard woman at times, but she had lived a life to warrant that, and for some reason I bonded with her more than my brothers did. She set a high standard for housekeeping, and I hear her forceful voice in my head, admonishing me not to "shirk" my responsibilities by doing a "piss-poor" job of it every time I arm myself to enter the bathroom on a mission of cleansing and renewal. In case I need an added reminder of my insufficiency as a house keeper, all I have to do is visit my mother's house. She sets quite a high standard, as well. It's something that I aspire to, something I hope to achieve someday...when I have more free time. Smirk.

I used to play in the rain and make mud-pies when I was a kid, and I have a feeling I still would if I were more physically limber and less mentally encumbered by life's more mature pleasures and distractions. Making mud pies in the rain is much different than scrubbing a week's worth of spillage and shedding from the typical domestic bathroom, however. I hate filth and I hate muck and the older I get the less tolerance I have for it. It makes me gag if I get too close to it these days, so I tend to ignore it for a couple of days longer than I should. That only  means when I DO get around to dealing with it I have a bigger job on my hands than I would have if I'd been on a more regular maintenance schedule. What can I say? I'm human and my eyes tend to slide right past whatever they don't want to see. That's what an economist would call "rationally irrational behavior." Nifty, huh?

Eventually, though, usually sooner than I want, I can't ignore it any more and I catch myself tamping down my burgeoning revulsion and realizing that something has to be done about the bathroom. Again. Eew.  I guess I am turning into a weenie in my old age. Either that, or I am just getting too old to bother with anything I don't care for. In any event, when I do go in there to face the grimey things that should not be, I want to get rid of the germy little bastards and the soap scum they live in completely, and I want it to be easy, quick and cheap. Not asking much, am I?

One day, when I happened to be complaining over a cup of coffee to my very cool friend Amanda (of Fernwood Essentials) about how I spent probably hundreds of dollars on high-powered cleansers and countless--fruitless!--hours over the years trying an failing to find something to really and truly get rid of soap scum, she mentioned casually she just uses "natural cleansers, and they work just fine."

I was momentarily stumped. Natural cleansers? You mean like birch bark and loganberries and wheat grass? Maybe a rock tied to a stick? How does that possibly work as well as products that have been scientifically formulated to clean bathrooms and then produced in a chemical plant necessarily located in a 3 world country in order to find the kind of relaxed environmental regulations that allow such abominations to be produced in the first place? Fortunately, that was just my inner reaction. I sat there, silently thinking about it for a minute. I tend to do that a lot around Amanda.

Natural cleansers? Wouldn't that be great? If they actually worked, I mean? Knowing my grandmother as I did, and knowing that most of the chemicals we rely on for day to day life weren't even invented until after she was in her middle years, I began to wonder about what people used before all these ground-water poisoning "conveniences" were widely available. So I asked Amanda what she uses.

"Baking soda, mostly, and vinegar if it's really scummy."

Uh, what now? Baking soda? And vinegar? Being the "special" student who needs "special instruction" like I do, I asked her specifically how she uses it, and how well it works. She looked at me politely with wide eyes and spoke slowly, like you would to a small child or a very drunk person, and said, "I just get the wash cloth wet, pour a some baking powder on it, and then...you know...scrub around the tub." She made a helpful, circular scrubbing gesture with her hand. She then explained that she sometimes also uses vinegar, due to it's antiseptic properties.

Being the skeptic I am, I had to immediately go home and try it. Would you believe it actually worked? And not just worked--a fraction of a penny's worth of baking powder did what untold bottles of $5-$6 dollar intense soap scum cleaning products had been unable to do. I was floored. I was completely converted, and here I am, with the zeal only a convert possesses to spread the message of glory, of hope, and most importantly--FAST, CHEAP AND EASY BATHROOM CLEANING!

Natural cleansers. I will be back with more of the gospel as soon as it is revealed to me. Or at least, as soon as I find the time. Smirk.

**Edit: I want add here that vinegar is great at breaking down grease and oils. That's probably why it works so well on soap scum, and absolutely why it's so great for cleaning mirrors and windows. It's acidity is a great germ-fighter, too. Just about all I use to clean my stove, these days, is some vinegar and water mixed in a spray bottle. I use baking soda as a mild abrasive scrub for the crusty stuff, then spray on the vinegar for a lickity-split sparkling clean, residue and germ free cooking surface. There is a mild odor, but it dissipates much faster that you'd think possible and it's not nearly as unpleasant as most toxic cleansers even when it's still strong. It's grand!